Zim and the Hideous New Girl
by H-bomber
Summary: One-shot, may continue. Tak returns to Earth. Unfortunately, Zim doesn't seem to recongize her. TaZr
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first Invader Zim fan fiction. This may become more of a one shot, but for now, it's a one shot. So review and tell me if it should be more of a one shot or not.

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"Now to commence my evil diabolical plan of doom!" Zim yelled to no one in particular as he laughed maniacally.

"I wanna scream too! Ahhhh!" GIR screamed along with his master. Zim glared at the infernal SIR unit. GIR continued to scream as he started to juggle stuffed piglets.

"Too bad I don't have any actual plans, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!" Zim yelled as he pointed his hand into the air.

"Warning! Incoming spacecraft detected!" the computer announced as Zim continued to point at nothing in particular.

"Computer, do not interrupt the almighty Zim!"

"Well, my apologies, _almighty Zim, _but don't say I didn't warn you!"

"Warn me about what?" suddenly a large crash was heard outside, "GIR, go check what just-" Zim stopped himself as he observed GIR doing the monkey dance, which consisted of putting his arms in a horizontal position, and moving them slightly up and down, while bouncing lightly on his feat, but not enough to actually make him air bourn. He sighed to himself and went to check it himself.

He quickly went up into the house, and ran to his door. However, before he could a familiar Irken showed up. She was slightly taller than Zim, had purple eyes, and her antennae were curly. Not only that, she had an odd tube stuck in her head.

"Hello Zim," she glared as her SIR unit Mimi looked as if she wanted to run into the house to find GIR and strangle him.

"I knew this day would one day come," Zim said as he composed himself, "I just didn't think it would come so soon."

Well, I didn't expect you to foresee this, looks like you're gaining some _slight _skill," She taunted while grinning like a maniac, "but enough pleasantries, PREPARE TO DI-"

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't give you my autograph, it's far to degrading for a superior Invader such as myself," he said arrogantly with a smile.

"…what?" Tak glared at the imbecile.

"Now, I know all you and all your friends want a photo and autograph of my masculine self, but I just can't give you all false hope," he said with a chuckle, "my one true love is that of an invader," he said putting a hand on the girls shoulder. She glared indignantly at him, as she slapped away his hand.

"I'm here to kill you, you moron!" Zim gasped at her, backing away unconsciously.

"But why?!"

"You ruined my life!"

"I don't even know you!"

"It's me, TAK!" she bellowed. Zim stared at her for a few minutes, and slightly opened his mouth.

"Who?" he finally answered.

"Who? WHO?! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!?" Zim scratched his chin for a few seconds.

"Who are you?" he said wondering if that would appease her.

"You know, the person trying to STEAL YOUR MISSION!" Zim pondered for a few seconds, and then he finally realized who she was.

"I know who you are!"

"Finally!" Tak yelled as she was about to pull out her laser gun.

"You must be my ex-girlfriend!" Tak slapped her forehead, _hard, _"Honestly, you women and your possessiveness," he said with a chuckle, "I'm sorry m'lady, but I'm a free bird, no one can keep me caged," he continued his rant, infuriating Tak all the more.

"Why would I want to be your **girlfriend!?**" she glared.

"Why wouldn't you?" Zim shot back. Tak's eye twitched, and she started taking deep breaths to keep her cool.

"I am going to kill you at a later date, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO I AM!" she yelled as she did that cool disappearance act of hers along with Mimi. Zim shrugged his shoulders, closed the door and walked away when his eyes bulged out.

"TAK'S BACK!" he yelled in agony and fell to his knee's.

Meanwhile

"Master, are you alright?" Mimi asked when Tak and her made it back to their new base. Tak responded with a quietly muttered 'he'll never notice me.'

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A/N: well, how was it? Was I able to keep the characters in character? And was it funny? Please review and tell me how to improve.


	2. Panties, part 1

Okay, since some people wanted me to continue this, I guess I have little choice, but to continue it. Though I'm going to try to make this as short as possible, because for some reason I'm not that great at multi-chapter stories, I do best with one-shots. Oh, and since ch. 2 is taking so long, here's the first half.

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"Now GIR, remember the plan, and **don't **screw it up!" Zim scolded in his 'disguise' as he walked the green 'dog'. they were currently in the city, going to the oversized doughnut shop that was Tak's new base of operations. Zim learned earlier that Dib tried to sneak in, and got a massive shock for his 'adventure'.

Zim walked up to the front door, to the doughnut shop, while GIR walked in a different direction, sneaking away into a ventilation shaft.

'_Please don't screw up GIR,' _Zim thought to himself as he walked into Tak's base and called out her name. In a few seconds Tak, in her disguise of course, came down and glared at Zim.

"What do you want Zim?" she questioned as she walked up to him, "Have you finally recognize me yet?"

"Yes Tak, I remember you quite well, especially how I DEFEATED you!" he gloated, earning himself a glare, "Anyway, I just came to negotiate about a, deal, if you're willing to listen," Tak mulled over this for a few seconds.

"What kind of a deal?" she questioned carefully, _'I've got to be careful, Zim is too arrogant for this kind of thing,'_

"Well, Tak, I've thought it over, and I believe that two invader's are better than one," he smirked, _'all according to plan'_ he thought to himself.

"Very well," Tak finally responded, "let's go upstairs for some privacy,"

"Whoa, I didn't think you were like that Tak!"

"Not that kind of privacy!" she blushed. She took Zim's hand and led him into an elevator, where it took them into a conference room. She took him to one end of a small table, and she sat at the other end. They were only half a foot away from each other.

"Uh, Tak you're still holding my hand," Zim pointed out. Tak blushed and quickly let go of his hand, and coughed for a second or two.

"So, uh, Zim, what is this plan of yours?"

"I had a plan? Oh, yes, _that _plan," he winked at her.

"…Why did you just winked at me?" she asked as she removed her disguise, with Zim following suit.

"Oh, no reason, but if for some reason you think I'm trying to distract you, well, that's just you being paranoid,"

"You're trying to distract me!?" she glared while slamming her fist on the table.

"How did you know?! I mean, of course not! Don't be so, um, look! Behind you!"

"I'm not falling for that Zi-" before she could finish, GIR slammed himself on the back of her head, knocking her out.

"Quick GIR, retreat!" Zim yelled as he and GIR escaped Tak's base. He and GIR eventually made it back to his base, and quickly locked the door, "VICTORY FOR ZIM!" he yelled out as he laughed out maniacally.

"Yeah, I want some taco's!" GIR yelled out as he too started laughing maniacally. Soon Mini-moose started joining in by squeaking maniacally. How he did that not even the author knows. But I digress, back to the story.

"Now GIR, show me my treasure," she chuckled as he rubbed his hands together.

"Okay Master!" GIR yelled as he opened his head and took out what he stolen. Zim's eyes widened, and his face turned red with anger, and something else.

"GIR you moron! You were supposed to steal her plans not her-grr-YOU IMBECILE!" he yelled as started stomping his foot.

Meanwhile

Tak rubbed her aching head as she found Mimi tending to her.

"Ouch, Mimi, what happened?" she asked while rubbing her head. Mimi looked down embarrassedly.

"Zim and GIR stole something that belongs to you," was all she said. Tak rolled her eyes, and glared.

"Well, what did they steal!?" if Mimi could blush, she would. She whispered something into Tak's ear, and when she finished, Tak turned several kinds of red, "HE STOLE MY PANTIES!?"


	3. Panties, part 2

Part 2, sorry this took so long. I'll try updating faster.

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The next day

"I can't believe that stupid robot," Zim said as he walked to school that day.

"Zim! I'm going to expose you for who-"

"Not now Dib," Zim glared as he walked past Mr. Crazy.

"I'm not crazy! And what's with you Zim, you're not usually this upset unless I ruin your plans."

"Well, you know how Tak's returned right?" he waited for a nod from Dib before continuing, "Well, me and GIR went to try to steal her plans right? Well, instead GIR stole her panties,"

"WHAT!?" Dib yelled as he fell to the floor laughing, "I-I can't believe how STUPID you can be sometimes!"

"Hey! It's not my fault I have a defective SIR unit!" Zim shot back as they made it to the entrance of the school, where they met Tak.

"Hello _Zim,_" she glared ferociously. Dib looked uncomfortably between the two.

"Umm, I'll just go now," he said as he entered the school.

"Umm, Tak, I just want to say, VICTORY FOR ZIM!" he laughed, making Tak glare at him with even more hatred, "Um, aren't you going to say any-"

"I am going to get revenge Zim," she said calmly, "and it's going to be painful, _**very, very painful," **_she said as she walked to class. Zim just stood there, gawking at the retreating back of his enemy.

"I have a bad feeling in my squiggly spooch," he muttered to himself.

_After school (Yes, I spelled it right because I hate spelling mistakes…even though I make them all the time)_

"Run, run, run, run, RUN!" Zim yelled to himself as he quickly went inside his house and locked the door, "HAH! Come get me now Tak!"

"All right, I'm here Zim," Tak replied as she smiled deviously at him.

"Ahh! How did you get here?" Zim glared as he took a defensive stance.

"Well, maybe you would have beaten me here if you didn't STOP AT THE ARCADE FOR FIVE HOURS!"

_Five hours earlier_

"Hah! Yes, die zombies DIE! Fall before the almighty Zim! Mwu ah ha ha ha!"

"Mommy, I'm scared," a little six year old said.

"Now now hunny, just ignore the scary little green boy, if you do, I'll get you ice cream."

"Yay, ice cream!"

"DIE!"

_Present_

Oh yeah, ha, those zombies didn't know what hit the-OOF!" Tak suddenly slammed Zim upside the head with a frying pan.

"Unorthodox, but works nonetheless," she said to herself as she took her revenge.

_An hour later_

"Ow, my head," Zim said as he woke up in a daze, noticing it was slightly cold, "Computer, what happened?"

"You were knocked out sir,"

"I know _that_," Zim replied glaring, "but what happened after that?"

"Oh sir, prepare yourself," as the computer told Zim what happened, his eyes widened, and he finally realized why it felt so cold.

_With Tak_

"Master, what are you doing?" Mimi asked backing away slightly away from Tak.

"None of your business Mimi, now go away!" Tak said as she resumed hugging and smelling Zim's stolen shirt.

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A/N: And so revenge was had. Next, the final chapter.


End file.
